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Dates Aren’t Found on Apps

Hi y’all,

Dating apps are all the range. Most of your friends have them or tried them. You probably have too.

Being in Charlottesville, there are actually not a ton of eligible men hanging around, or if there are, I’m looking in the wrong places.

So, I asked my friend one night after watching The Bachelor if she thought the TV show or dating apps would be more helpful. Keep in mind, neither of us have applied/have been on The Bachelor. Of course, this is when I found out she’s never used a dating app, and she suggested this blog post.

I feel like there are 2 major dating apps and then a handful that are randomly used. Tinder and Bumble are definitely the two biggest apps used nationally. Tinder is definitely more for the hookups and Bumble allows for the woman to be in control. Tinder is all about looks, while Bumble gives more opportunity to learn a little something about the person before swiping.

I hopped on to see if I could find anyone who I would want to have a conversation with.
Granted, I live in Charlottesville where the “young” adult population, aka between the ages of 25-30, is dominated by transient people who are here for school at UVA, predominantly for Medical or Law school. They typically have no intention of staying in Charlottesville or have no clue where they will end up.

Keep in mind, I believe the purpose of dating is to lead to marriage. While I know plenty of people that have “dated around”, I know that lifestyle is not for me. I believe that you should be serious about whomever you are spending time with.

So, here are my thoughts:

Tinder: the hookup app. Not something to take seriously, more of a game.
Bumble: Relationship. You want someone for the long term, and you’re taking it more seriously.
Hinge: Relationship. Again, you definitely want someone for the long term, and you’re taking it seriously. Hinge allows you to answer questions for your profile, so you know more about the person before you like them, which is a serious plus as well.

I will say, there are outliers on these apps, so this is more of a generalization of what I saw most often. I do have friends that have serious relationships, and have even gotten married from a Tinder match.

There was only a handful of guys I would be interested in. However, I do think the location has something to do with this. Living in a “small” city, there are only so many people to choose from. Since I drive so far for work every day, I am not super interested in dating someone that lives 45 minutes to an hour away from here.

I will also say safety is a big thing when thinking of these dating apps. I would say, Tinder is definitely the most sketchy. It is the one where I saw the most fake profiles. I will say they all connect via Facebook, and you can connect other social media sites and apps. From the profiles I saw, it was super easy to tell which ones were faked. Hinge I did not see a single fake profile, but there were far fewer options on this app. Bumble is where the woman is in control: the lady must message first. The idea behind this was to make it safer for women; however, I’m not exactly sure how making the woman message first makes it safer.

They were all easy to set up a profile and use. I could easily connect my Facebook account and go from there They were also pretty easy to “verify” who you are. Tinder offers this option to make sure that you are who you say you are.

While, yes, I think dating apps could potentially work in a large city, I do not see them working in smaller cities/towns. I would also suggest not using Tinder. This was by the far the worse experience of the three apps.

Have you ever used a dating app? What was your experience like?

xx,
Lindsey

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